Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Proof is in the Egg Salad Sandwich

Clearly no one reads this shit.

Which is a good sign I reckon, after all, you monkey's are just following directions. Good job.

No one won the Free Sandwich. But sadly, simple participation will not win you a free sandwich either. But, thanks for playing B.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Free Egg Salad Sandwich

The first blogger-registered person to guess what this is gets treated to a free egg salad sandwich at Darcy's from me, Q.  Yes, I will pay up.  

Deadline is 2/16/09

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Rubbing Elbows with the Celebs

I was reading an editorial in Details magazine and there was some responses regarding Keanu Reeves.  I guess in the article there were some simple comments on how Keanu likes to be a normal cat; read books, ride his new fangled motor-powered bicicleta, and (most likely with some amount of humor and a dash of sarcasm) he mentions he likes a good sandwich.

A woman made a comment on how [my words] it's nice to see celeb's having to deal with the trials and tribulations of finding the sandwich shop closed on Mondays.

So I was in the shower thinking of the article and I asked myself what have been my brushes with well known folks?  I thought for a minute and the first thing that popped into my head; freakin' Walter Payton.  Um yeah, I couldn't make this shit up.  I had been working on a project at the place I was working at where we took a golf cart and modified it to transport a video crane, it was ultimately (and ridiculously) called the CamRyde.  The Broncos had made it into the playoffs in '98 and so CBS was airing the game(s).  I grabbed MegaMex and we loaded the trailer and took this over to the field the day before and they were preparing for the game.  I introduced myself to the director and he walked over with us to the trailer and saw this thing we had built and was stoked.  He immediately wanted to use this for the game.  Sweet.  So, the next day we're in Mile High Stadium building the crane (Egripment Scanner) and cabling the camera.  We're standing there talking and Walter Payton walks by, like 5 feet away, and says "Hey guys."  I look over at MegaMex and say, "Dude, can you believe that shit?  You know who that is right?  Fucking Walter Payton man!"  I remember being pretty star struck for about 7 seconds.

Then I got to thinking, who else?  The second so called "brush with greatness" was Michael Biehn.  You'll see that I included quotes to emphasize my sarcasm.  Back in 1997 I was a Crane (Enlouva II) and Remote Head (PowerPod) tech on the last few days of Asteroid and this guy was being interviewed over by the craft services table not far from where I had the crane setup.  You could practically see the ego drip off this guy.  Blech.  Annabella Sciorra was also in this film, and though I saw her walk on set, the only fucking retarded shit she did was to do the whole thing where she was throwing a tantrum in her trailer and wouldn't come out, everyone on set was having to be super cool and walk on egg shells cause she her ego was getting in the way.

Ah, then there's one of my more favorite stories. I had made a really short blog about this a couple of years ago (link) but never really did tell the story.  I was hired alongside of Quint as a Crane (SwissJib) and Remote Head (PowerPod) tech on the last day / night of shooting on Dee Snider's Strangeland.  This was a night shot, and as the story is told at the end of the movie.  Besides Dee Snider, Robert Englund was in it as well, though I only saw him from a distance.  Actually, the more I think about it the more I realize that I only saw Dee from a distance as well.  My elbow rubbing came along with the most unlikely of people.  So, here's the skinny.  Quint and I setup the crane and mounted the remote head.  A 40 foot crane takes a while to setup, so we were busy for quite awhile. We had the remote head mounted and started cabling and getting the wheels and monitors setup.  Once we got done, we sat and rested and watched the production for a bit.  Behind us, there were a few people who had taken up chairs and were just sitting there watching.  There was an older couple sitting there, and out of the blue they just ask what all of the equipment we have does.  So, the first thing is that we were clearly under the assumption that they were just folks off the street watching.  So we ran through the gear and telling them how things worked and why we had to setup the gear the way we did.  After a bit, Quint naturally asks, "are you guys just here watching the shoot?"  And once again, I couldn't make this shit up.  The lady says (I wish I knew their names, but I never did remember if they gave us their names or not) "no, we're Dee's parents."  And we're like, you have to be shitting us.  Although, I believe the words were, "Seriously?".  So, we talked to them a bit more and asked about Dee and how he got to be how he was.  His mom and dad were the coolest folks.  They had a rather large family and just spoke as if they were your neighbors.  So the more we spoke, the more enamored I became.  So eventually, she pulls out her wallet from her purse and begins to show us family photos.  There's Dee, in the back of a large family photo, giant white hair standing next to his [normal] brothers, sisters, and who knows who else was there.  His parents near the front and everyone looked super happy.  It was a cool photo.  Aside from the fact that it was Dee's family and life, it was a cool because how absolutely fascinating it is to see "behind the scenes" of people's lives.  I mean, I'm on set with the guy, someone I'll never meet or have an interesting conversation with even though I would dig that very much, but I get a glimpse into his past for a few moments.   I get fascinated with my friends past when they share.  It's neat that there are so many people with so many stories.

I am going to dig through the mental archives to see if I can find some more.  

Have a nice Sunday and if you are traveling, be safe, have fun, and think of me.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Unbias, err...Unshitty Reporting

So, Non called from Rosburg this morning and woke me up a bit early today ( I just got off a week of nights at the WB) and so I decided I'd watch some movies a la Netflix via the XBOX 360.

I began with the wonderfully classic and mind expanding movie:

Resident Evil : Extinction

Then I watched a documentary of Marla Olmstead, now 8 years old, who at the age of 4 began painting modern abstract art.  Her paintings were/are very interesting and she was very successful at selling her paintings at the time. Her family, as usual, eventually was torn down by by a ridiculous report that aired on 60 Minutes.  They effectively called her a fraud and said that her dad was "polishing" the paintings prior to selling but saying that Marla did them all.  Eventually even the guy shooting the documentary even effectively called them liars, or at minimum questioned their honesty.

It got me thinking about my own issues with reporting, this so called unbias reporting, or reporting without adding drama or, for fuck sake, outright lying.

I can't remember how long it's been now but while working at the previous consulting company Fox 31 here in Denver wanted to interview us on a story about online credit card theft.  Shaul Turner and her crew showed up and interviewed the sales guy (because sales guys know a lot about network security...pfft, ass hat) and then wanted to do a simple demonstration on how to detect types of web servers and then how to run a list of known security vulnerabilities against the web servers.  So I showed them how to do it via a simple telnet command to the web server which simply shows the web server type.  As I was doing this I was explaining how I'm simply beginning to footprint the remote network and web servers so I could attempt to exploit them.  I actually did no attacks on the remote network, just demonstrating how to start doing it.

So, when we finally saw the piece air, I was fucking blown away at the shit she said.  As they aired the close up of my screen, her voiceover says, "Watch as he he hacks into this system."  And all I did was execute a telnet command to port 80.  But according to her I had pentrated this server in seconds.  So you say, "so what Q, who cares!" 

I do, and I'll tell you why.  The reprocussions for bullshit comments can extend far beyond her saying something ignorant and stupid.  It could have caused me and the company to come under fire from other security professionals or the remote network owners if they had taken the comments at face value.  They could have hit us for hacking and/or attacking their remote network with the video + stupid voiceover to support it.

So this piece from 60 Minutes did the same thing.  They had no proof of their comments, it was one lady who made a bullshit comment and suddenly they weren't selling paintings, they were receiving the most obsurd hate mail / email with some very nasty shit said.  Terrible shit.

This kind of journalism is kin to driving down the road with a guy riding your ass, honking at you, cutting people off and speeding.  You can't ram him off the road, you can't take your AR-15 and light him up, you can't punch him in the neck and tell him to quick being an asshole.  Same thing, you can't do that to reporters who do a shitty unbias and uneducated job.  You can't because you don't have the camera and airtime to do it.  Although the Internet changes things a bit, the number of people you and I get in front of is exponentially less than that of Fox 31, regardless of how bad they are.

Although, my story with Shaul has a happy ending for me.  They came back a year later or so and they wanted to do an interview again regarding network security.  And since I was Senior Network Monkey, they put me in front of the camera.  The first thing I tell fucking Shaul Turner is how piss poor of a job she did misrepresenting what I did on the last piece.  She was stunned that I was "punching her in the neck" for "driving like shit".  So, they did a close up of me and asked all of the stupid ass questions that dumb reporters ask, "what can people do to help secure themselves and computers?"  So all of the standard bullshit answers followed.  Now, I have zero reasons to make this up and I have witnesses that will back this up.

I start with, "make sure you have a software firewall, have antivirus and ensure it is up to date" etc, etc...

...and then I went blank and just stared at her.  I could not think of anymore reasons, but I did such a bad job of ending my sentence, that I said the following to end my answer.

"...and do the hokey pokey."

She looked at me and said, "hokey pokey, what's that?"  Everyone in the room was doing a very good job of keeping a straight face until she said that.  The entire fucking room erupted in laughter and and we laughed for 5 minutes straight.  Needless to say the interview was over, and my piece never did air.  Fuck-and-yes!  I got mine.   She got hers, that lousy reporter douchebag.  Hehe.

My [short] list of reporters I think are useless:
  Ernie Bjorkman (recently fired and is now becoming a vet like the chump he is)
  Mark Koebrich
  Shaul Turner

I found the video and have been laughing my ass off for 5 minutes.  I guess it didn't help that the command prompt that shows up on the screen says Hackedy Hack:

I'm gonna edit the video and post it later, so look for it, cause it's kinda funny.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Super Slacker + Super Rant

Super slack indeed. I only know 2 people that really read this shit, and a third that only peruses this shit when I call him a pimp.

I've found it very difficult to write when the people that read the blog I end up talking about shit with anyway.

I used to get creative about it and the biggest mistake was putting on Google Analytics and finding out just how many people I am not reaching.

I recently gave up on being stuffy about my cell phone choice. I've classically done the thing where the phone / PDA should be about work if that's what you are in to. I've been big on the Blackberry scene for years. But when I got out of the full time IT consulting world and got the job over at ISP I work at now, I thought I needed to maintain email connectivity. But the ridiculous amount of email being sent around internally was over the fucking top. To the point that I would have a day off and would find myself waking up and looking at the Blackberry and responding to emails in bed. On my day off. 


I found out recently via /. that Sprint added a $0.99 admin fee to their contract which allows people to get out of their contract within X number of days. It was time for me to make my move and avoid the $200 early disconnect fee. I went and bought the freakin' iPhone and I have to say that I rather enjoy it. And what's more, it's more inline with business than the Blackberry (for me) since I can get a SSH client and a RDP client, so minimally I can get into any number of devices or servers as long as I have access to them.

Anywho. I also decided to see how I would use Twitter. So I'll try and keep that updated. If you are on Twitter, make sure to let me know.


What else...

I have to go to Laredo the first week in March. At least it won't be hot. And the even bigger bonus is that I won't have dry socket combined with Bronchitis like I did with my last trip to Laredo. That, my friends, was misery. The only saving grace is the awesome red beans and rice that I could get from Pope Yes.

B is out the door on Sunday for a week so the party is at my place when she leaves.  Actually, I have Monday off from working nights this week at the WB and I am going to do a favor for FiF
and work the maintenance window that night.  How nice is that of me?  He is going on a road trip with his room mate who drives a truck.  All I can say is that I better fucking receive a kick ass Truck Stop gift from his ass.

I'm listening to Sirius radio on the Internet right now, and the freakin' EAS Test came on.  I've always found that to be creepy.  It always reminds me of in some ways to EVP , at least from when I was a kid that's how I related to it.  

Speaking of EVP, people say not to do EVP detection in your own house.  I actually think that is a good idea.  Even if it's bullshit, or you can trick your mind into thinking you heard something, you will ruin your time in your house forever when you do that.  That is of course if you are a normal human, wherein you aren't sad all of the time.

Ok, I'm done for now.  I'll work harder on more posts.