Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My Bitch Cracks Skulls

While recently visiting the tiny town of Evergreen, while watching Non roll down the small hills next to the lake after taking a small walk around some of the wetlands, we take notice of three people walking towards us. Two of them, obviously observant of respect for property of other's, are not walking on the platform across the wetlands but rather on the handrails themselves. We naturally throw out a "What a douche bag" to make sure we verbalize to the world that we disagree with their actions. A few minutes later, they're a bit closer.

They are on the other side of the handrails now, ripping off some of the cattails growing in the wetlands. "What a douche bag."

They take the cattails and start whipping them around and throwing all of the fluffy goodness of the cattails all over the place. Oh what fun. "Douche bags." Two girls and one boy.

And then, out of nowhere, the ass hat male of the group decides that he needs a first hand view of the wetlands and jumps the entire handrail over into the wetlands.

Now, Bird sees this before I do. My head is turned the opposite direction and she is facing them. Like a Ninja she starts yelling at the guy. "You're not supposed to be in there! It's a fragile habitat." I kinda giggled at that internally, but she was right, get the fuck out. This guy is obviously well educated in the natural landscapes and habitats of the wetlands of Evergreen and what the potential impact he could have on the surrounding areas, because he promptly educated us by saying, "It's just grass."

Bird was pissed off instantly. She screamed back, "Oh that's ok, you're just a fucking idiot."

She's a delicate flower.

He jumps back across the fence, the two girls looking at us in disbelief, and he moves his hippy stoner haircut from in front of his eyes and sarcastically pipes, "Oh yeah, ya know, you're right." Bird says, "
Yeah, nice! Seafood salad!" I turned and looked at her with a "What the fuck?" look of, seafood salad? Actually, I don't remember what she said then, she could have danced around with midgets and cole slaw and I wouldn't have remembered. The guy is kinda embarrassed but not to be beaten completely, throws a hang loose at us.

Oohh...if my son wasn't there, I would have taken the hang loose and jammed it in his colon.

Actually, I wasn't going to do anything but look intimidating so I didn't have to move at all. It worked, I didn't say a word and they knew better. See how I rock.

Monday, November 06, 2006

I Rock...


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Thanks for the link Rebecca!