Thursday, December 29, 2005

The cool has been restored...

A mantra that was coined in my earlier years can now be re-employed.

In high school, Bobina and I, used the phrase:

'safety is cool'

Until recent weeks I was extremely cool. I am talkin' Fonzie cool.
However, months ago my driver side seat belt broke, the pretension spring had essentially broke, without going into a lot of detail, it just broke. And I could not afford to replace it. So, I spent a few hours disassembling the passenger side seat belt to remove the spring and put it on the driver side pretensioner. That worked well for awhile until the same thing happened to that spring.

Well goddamn...

So, I floated around town without actual seat belts. I would strap it on for two reasons. 1) So John Q. Law wouldn't nail me down for it and 2) for the simple comfort of the feeling of having the seat belt on. Naturally, had I been in an accident, I would have been picking teeth out of the dash board or they would have been sponging me off the pavement.

I decided to finally suck it up and buy the belts post xmas bonus. A little history on this. I spoke with my not-so favorite mechanic, who by the way I won't be going back to, and he was going to charge me about $175 of labor on top of the $132 cost in parts. This, times two, was not acceptable or even remotely affordable. Friday, I finally had them order the parts. I was told they would call me when they arrived, naturally as shitty customer service would have it, they didn't. So, I showed up and after standing there for almost 15 minutes, I was given my -prepaid- parts. Not before being asked when I was bringing the car in to have them do it. I told his ass never because I can't afford for him to do it. What an asshole to try and make $350 on a seat belt installation. And on top of it, days before he was going to try and stick it to me for my brakes. He was going to charge me $440 for just the -REAR- brakes, not all four. And that, according to him, was the going rate for replacing parts. WTF? I originally assumed that $440 covered all four, but they called me and said that it would cost another $440 for the front. What a cock smoker.

So, today, I pulled out the trusty Craftsman socket set, grabbed the 14mm socket (because it is a Japanese car and they do use metric fasteners) and started taking off all three of the bolts, and the cover right underneath the seat belt. It took me more time to read the goddamn 'instructions' (they weren't really instructions but they helped) than it did to take the old belts off, and put the new ones on. In less than 25 minutes I had the driver side in and tested. The passenger side took even less than that. And oh how I like the new belts, very nice indeed. They retract a lot better than expected. Nice job MQ.

So, 45 minutes of my time, I saved $350 dollars. Hell, even the local dealership was willing to be cool and do it for FREE to earn my business. Just a tip to those small businesses that I keep hearing I'm supposed to help support. It's one thing to have a slightly higher price because you need to maintain a decent margin for a profit because your vendors don't give you such a huge discount for volume, but when you go out of your way to try and fuck people over, that's when you go out of business. So fuck you TD, you can eat my ass.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Fun with arrhythmia...

The ticker has been reliable up until now.

Now, I feel like I have a fucking anxiety attack all of the time. I know, I already have an appointment so no preaching. A week is long enough to see it go away, and when it hasn't, then hop on in to see the doc, so I'm going in tomorrow.

I'm down to 12 oz. of caffeine a day, just to avoid the fucking withdrawals. Plenty o' water has been on the menu. Last night, I was feeling so worked up while driving, that when I got to the mall, I was speed walking (literally) trying to wear myself down because my heart was racing like mad. After a good, hellacious, walk, I was a bit calm. Then my legs caved in on me. I could barely sleep last night.

So, now here I sit working on finding serenity as to prevent a premature death. My heart is going ape shit. I have that crazy feeling in my throat, as if I've been scared shitless but all I'm doing is blogging.

Reference #1

Arrhythmias are disorders of the regular rhythmic beating of the heart. They're common - as many as 2.2 million Americans are living with atrial fibrillation (one type of rhythm problem). Arrhythmias can occur in a healthy heart and be of minimal consequence. They also may indicate a serious problem and lead to heart disease, stroke or sudden cardiac death.

Well kids, I'm off for another fun filled evening of no alcohol, no pepsi, and no kama sutra.

The Thai food today was very good though. I even had him throw in extra tofu. Best part about asking for more tofu, is not getting the extra tofu you asked for. Fekkers.

submitted from
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Story Time...

When I was in third grade my school had a Famous People Parade. Every third grade class in this small town participated in it. Still do to this day even...

All the kids would get to choose a famous person, do a bit of "research" and write up a blurb about who they were and why they were famous. We had to dress up like the famous people and had to choose a bit of music that would play while we walked down the aisle and up onto the stage. We could pick anyone we wanted to but the teachers were good about forcing us to pick people who had actually done good things rather then just movie stars. I think the end result was hi-larious and wish that I could find a tape of it somewhere. Perhaps a visit back to that elementary school would do the trick.

I remember that I was sick the day we got to pick our famous people. I remember looking at some names the next day in school and realizing that all the good famous people were gone. I remember the teacher getting impatient and just kind of thrusting my famous person upon me. She didnt seem to understand what i knew to be fact; (although, at the time, i doubt i could have said it in these words) that my famous person choice would stick with me from that moment on. It was a monumental decision...

Shirley Temple Black

Oh yes, the curly topped cutie.

My mother made my outfit. I had a sequined tie and cuffs. I wore tap shoes. I skipped down the aisle and onto the stage to the song "The Good Ship Lollypop" nearly slipping and cracking my cute little curly top head open not once, not twice, but THRICE times. (I cant pass up the rhyme.) I had curly hair, which i hated. So much so that I said i looked like a basketball with curls. My mother sold that story to Readers Digest for $300, but did I see any of the money? oh hell no.

I cant for the life of me remember what i said about being Shirley Temple Black. I know I mentioned the movies...that I mentioned the Ambassadorship (is this even a word?) to the Republic of Ghana. I dont remember much else.

If you would like to see how much I am like Shirley Temple Black, click here and replace Shirley, or Shirley Temple, or Shirley Temple Black with Bird. You will see that we have a lot in common. dont think I am a joyous tonic? Perhaps you need to get to know me better hmm?

Sunday, December 18, 2005


A list of interesting ways to close a toilet lid. The list is compiled in order of difficulty and with the amount of noise generated.

  1. dropping the lid straight down. high amount of noise followed by the cringe that everyone just heard the toilet lid fall.
  2. dropping the lid straight down from 1/2 way mark. noise conditions may vary, though still audible.
  3. placing your knee over the seat without raising your leg and catching the lid with your thigh right above your knee. very minimal noise depending on how well you do with letting the lid come to rest.
  4. as you begin to stand-up from a sit down head call, the lid will rest against your back and as you move forward, the lid will come to a rest. noise is only slightly noticeable.
  5. stand to the right side of the toilet facing away from it. with your right hand, grab the lid and gently bring the lid down and release. your hand will be above the lid in a natural position which could assist in avoiding carpel tunnel. noise is only as loud as you let it.
  6. standing in front with your left side facing the toilet, place your left hand on the lid, picking your right foot up behind your left leg and place it above the seat. push the lid with your hand and catch the falling lid with your foot. then slowly drop the lid to its final position. noise is mitigated completely, unless you fall over and crack your skull on the sink. this could be mitigated by the use of protective head gear.

In no way should this list be taken as a complete list. This list was not a result of an educational study nor was it created with the intent as being an aid for those with the inability to close. The information is provided as is with no warranty and should not be used in conjunction with auto closers nor should you modify a bidet and use it for practice on it. We will -not- be held liable for any head injurys or muscle cramps experienced from closing while using the above list. If you wish to contact the author of this list, please stick your pinky in your anus first prior to contacting the author. Please note, we will not be held liable for any lacerations to your anus, colon, or rectum; from here on known as "pooper". Your pooper is your responsibility and sticking your pinky in your pooper, or any other object in your pooper, is the responsibility of the stickee and said pooper.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Laser Printer / Photocopier Health Risks

Reference #1

Photocopiers and laser printers both produce ozone which, if present in high enough concentrations, can cause health problems such as eye, nose and throat irritation, dermatitis, headaches, premature ageing and possible reproductive and cancer hazards. People suffering from respiratory ailments are particularly sensitive to the effects of ozone.

Problems are likely to arise if the machines are:

-badly positioned: the symptoms are likely to be felt by people working in cramped, overcrowded conditions;
-poorly maintained: internal filters, which break down the ozone, clog up over time, particularly in poorly ventilated offices. They should be changed periodically;
-used frequently or for lengthy runs.

Proper siting of machines, ventilation and maintenance are therefore essential.

Ozone is a sweet-smelling and highly toxic gas. If you can smell ozone the level is too high. There are big variations in the amount produced by different machines and safety representatives should be consulted over the purchase of new models.

Other chemicals associated with photocopiers are:

-selenium and cadmium sulphide, carbon monoxide, and nitrogen oxide;
-carbon black contained in toners is a nuisance dust which contains carcinogens.
-Toners must be handled with care and gloves worn. German consumer organisation tests have found that toners often release harmful substances.

Noise and ultraviolet light emitted during the copying process are also hazards associated with copiers.

-Where possible, no-one should work in the same room as a photocopier;
-if unavoidable, machines should be sited at least three metres away from workers.
-Where possible, laser printers should not be sited on desktops or workstations beside workers.

Reference #2

Laser Printers and the Problems they cause in the Indoor Environment
Health effects associated with laser printers
Pollutants emitted by laser printers
Minimizing the health effects from laser printers

Hazards associated with laser printers

Operating equipment such as computers, laser printers, and photocopiers has been associated with sick building syndrome and health effects due to the release of chemical gases and particles. These emissions can result from the inks and toners, papers, carbonless paper, coatings on transparencies, glue on adhesive labels, the mechanical print process, plastic construction materials, circuit boards, and residual cleaning chemicals. Many of these chemicals will decrease with usage of the product such as computers. Others are the result of the mechanical operation and will always be there when the machine is operating. Laser printers in particular have been associated with1,2:


Mucous membrane irritation

Dryness of the throat, eyes and nose

Laser printers can emit:

VOCs: Laser printers and photocopiers have been shown to emit VOCs such as aldehydes, styrene, xylenes, ethylbenzene and hydrocarbons, many resulting from the inks and toners. Computers, in contrast, often release chemicals with strong odors such as phenol and plasticizers.

Particulates: Particulates are released by an operating machine. They may result from paper debris, toners, and inks. Many of these particles are in the respirable size and some agencies are concerned about the presence of carbon black.

Ozone: Laser printers create ozone through their "corona wires" that apply a charge to the paper so the ink will cling to it. However, newer models use a different system to reduce the amount of ozone produced by the printer. Concentrations of ozone in a room where laser printers are being used can exceed the currently regulated standard for ozone in the outdoor air. Ozone is a strong lung irritant. Many machines have filters to extract the ozone emissions.

Formaldehyde: Formaldehyde is commonly emitted. It may be associated with papers and coatings on papers or as a constituent of inks and toners.

Do the following to minimize health effects from laser printers:

Choose low-emission machines: Buy printers that can do the print job while contributing minimal emissions to the air. These printers have been designed to emit little chemical and particle emissions while operating. For more information, see

Ozone filters: Make sure that the laser printer has an ozone filter. Some of the newer models come with them. Ozone from laser printers is removed by activated charcoal filters that are replaced after a certain number of printed pages. These filters can reduce the average ozone levels from 430 µg/min to 100 µg/min.3 The filters need to be replaced according to the manufacturers instructions.

Ventilation: Large numbers of printers and photocopiers should be put together and isolated in a separate area with their own ventilation system that is exhausted to the outside. This area must have a lot of outdoor air and the air should not be recirculated throughout the rest of the building. Machines should not be located near return air ducts and should be turned off when not in use for any length of time. New machines need to be operated as much as possible with good ventilation during the first two weeks of purchase. Many of the new chemicals and odors will emit during this period, but they will decrease with time. An initial "burn in" with good ventilation will help reduce the odors and occupant irritation.

Selection of media: Select papers that do not have formaldehyde treatments and coatings. Avoid the use of carbonless paper, if possible, unless it is known to be free of chemical emissions while being used. Avoid printing of labels with adhesive. If required, ensure that good ventilation is supplied. Make sure that paper is compatible and recommended by the manufacturer of the equipment.



Wolkoff P, Wilkins CK, Clausen PA, Larsen K. Comparison of volatile organic compounds from processed paper and toners from office copiers and printers. Indoor Air 1993; 3:113-123.

Skoner DP, Hodgson MD, Doyle WJ. Laser printer rhinitis. NE J Med. 1990; 322(18):1323.

Hetes R, Moore M, Northelm C. Office equipment: Design, indoor air emissions, and pollution prevention opportunities. US EPA Project Summary, EPA/600/SR-95/045; Research Triangle Park, North Carolina. 1995.

Toner Tears

I have some sort of toner issue. I will try and describe it to you...

My teeth itch. My jaw feels...squiggly. The top part of my mandible feels swollen--above my teeth. My eyebrows feel pinched. I get a slight headache.

My shirt rips apart as my arms swell. My pants shrink but never quite come off. I get angry, oh so angry. I smash hellicopters but only do so because they are trying to prevent me from helping people.

I am so misunderstood, and my face hurts...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Love Missile


Please note how the RFHP uses composite materials such as fiberglass.
The nose cone temperature probe is for hands free operation making OI possible.
The external gauge is configured for DPI with a focus on feeling out EC.
The high power transmitter was designed with the goal in mind of sending out probes using EMF.

Acronym Key
RHFP = ribbed for her pleasure
OI = orbital insertion
DPI = deep pocket inspection
EC = environmental conditions
EMF = excited man funk

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time.
And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Monday, November 28, 2005


You heard me

Get some of that tasty goodness

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Bills Are Paid...

Holy shit how I hate doing that...I feel like I was taken from behind in the ol' brown eye.

Monday, November 21, 2005

My Medicine is Talking to my Hamburger...

The antibiotics appear to be working well. The strep bacteria seem to have been mostly vanquished.

Dinner tonight was good, leftovers, two hamburgers that were in the frig, uno con queso, and the other just plain. Both were eaten which is more than usual, plus two glasses of milk.

So tonight while talking to dad, it was good to let him know that my medicine was talking to my hamburger. Dad asked what they were saying, and all that could be said was that it was happy to help. It also kinda felt like it was talking to some hot dogs that was eaten a long time ago.

Well, need to finish the shampoo and rinse and get in bed. Bye.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

The creativity has ceased...

My brain has essentially collapsed inward, a bit of the ol' mental implosion. I cannot for the life of me think of anything to freakin' eat up more database / disk space on these power consuming monsters known as servers. The average web server sucking down about 1 Amp at run time and in production 24X7, the cooling requirements for 50 of these goddamn things, then the network gear, the switch alone has to be (under assumption) a decent piece of hardware, unless of course you shitheads at Google are running some crap hardware for your network. Routing gear, load balancing gear, security gear such as firewall's (minimally two of them for high availablility, and please don't tell me your using a goddamn PIX) and intrusion detection / prevention. The list can go on.

And for what? Just so people like me can make clever and witty comments, to work on displaying my weak and overrated English grammar, to hopefully have my vomit of thoughts available so I can secretly wish someone actually read this, excluding of course my friends that I make read it.

Eh. Whatever. Somehow I just got bitter.


Friday, November 18, 2005

Pork and Beans

As a child, I loved eating pork and beans straight from the can. Luke warm or even cold from the frig from the night before. It was just damn fine.

Now, I can't do it.

Is it wrong to giggle when you say pork and beans? As an adult, shouldn't I have already shed the sophomoric humor of my teens? When I hear pork and beans, I think of my friend, 'the junk'. aka Mr Happy, aka Monkey Pole, aka The Rod and Reels.

Have a good night where ever you are...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


"I want to rummage through my junk in hopes of finding bits of left over pieces of bacon."

-Munpe Q

Sale me down the river...

Today I received a phone call at work, like most usually do, from a woman who is working on making a sale. She, like so many others, is in the market of converged networks. She takes voice and data and jams it down one or multiple 'convenient' T1's to your lovely little network. The network that you are very proud of. But unlike yours, mine is engineered correctly and yours, well, you just suck at your little IT job.

Whoa, anyway. All of the colors that are generated from my bitterness is, fucking awesome.... I digress.

She begins her nice phone presentation with the standard questions of, we are a company that does blah blah blah, we are Qwests' largest business partner (wha?!), we have a network of multiple providers so that your network access can be vendor agnostic and we can take good care of you and we take full responsibility for the condition of your network access (the greatest bullshit line ever, though admirable because who says that these days?). She goes on to say that she would like to be able to develop a business relationship (damn, I was hoping to get laid) with us, and that she would like to be able to continue to speak with us. At some point, she also asks if she could find out who we use as providers. This is the point where the bullshit generators are fired up and the switch is thrown to enable my infinite amount of craptastic sarcasm. I mention that I have 6 different providers and that we are doing some crazy stuff with our networks and voice. And if only you could have heard me, I was on, and naturally she buys it. Then she continues...

She is offering a service whereby they come in as consultants and analyze the network from top to bottom offering solutions such as TCO analysis and the ability to assist in saving money. And in doing so, she says that she will not only be able to most likely help the company save money, but that their company is unique in that they don't take a percentage of the cost savings like most consultants do.

She continues on...

She asks me, how does all this sound. And up until now, she's done all the talking, and very well I might add, until the little dig on consultants. Now, it's my turn.

I start by asking. "How did you get our number?"
She says to me, "Do you really want to know?"
"Of course I do." I added.
"From the Colorado Business Journal" she says.
I ask, "Oh, ok. Great. Are you familiar at all with my company?"
"No, but I would like to. I hope to be able to understand your business and build a relationship around that", she replies.
I say to her very calmly, "Oh, ok. My company is an IT consulting firm with a focus on security and infrastructure. So, you see, I am one of those consultants of which you speak."
"....oh, well, you made me go through that whole thing. Ha ha ha. Ok. Well then, how are you doing today then?" she says with extreme discomfort.
"Well, I'm doing very well thank you." I piped in smuggly.
"Well, I guess I won't be able to help you much today then, can I?" she asks.
"Nope, not today." I say.

And that was the end of it. So, the moral of this story boys and girls, is that if you are going to FUCKING COLD CALL ME, make fucking damn sure you do at least 13 to 17 seconds worth of goddamn research on who you are calling.

And by the way, you stupid hooker, consultants DO NOT take a percentage of the cost savings, they fucking earn it by making proper and accurate recommendations based on best practices and vendor recommended implementations. You fucking shit bag.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Trying to, wanting to write....

feeling something inside me that wants to get out but cant. There's no way to let it out.

lack of capitalization makes me feel like e.e. cummings *I laugh*

what is it? can it hurt me?

these are the days that never end...yearning to be somewhere else makes for long days.

where you ask? in pudding......

happy now?

Monday, November 14, 2005

I'm the Lead Lemon

The other night I'm out with some really, truly great people. We were out to see a fantastic show, a band that I now have the privelege of calling a favorite (and no it's not cause you like 'em too).

After the show, I wander outside after paying for all of my grossly undersized beer in cheap ass plastic cups, and low and behold my friends are still waiting for me. Hoota thunk it?

Well, so there's a decision made and off we wander down the road, narrowly missing traffic. So close to the fast moving vehicles as to have been able to hear the buttons on our pants being hit on the sides of the cars. I could have easily lost my goods (and yes they are invaluable, I'm sure you'll agree) in a horrific traffic accident, a 'TA' to those in the know.

Ok, on we go. We've froggered our way across the road and now we're on the sidewalk. All four of us are moving in this odd fast paced fashion, the kind of pace that only the drunk know. The walk of 'damn I need more booze and will exercise vigorously until I get to that bottle of Vodka'. I'm working hard to keep up with everyone, because their motivation clearly outweighs anything I have at the moment, though I still need to get there.

Outside, there are 1.2 shitloads of bikes. Apparently, this is the place where you will find all of the bike messengers around town. They're all a bunch of drunks just like me, though we don't have the 2 wheel bond. Dammit I say.

We get inside, find this grossly -oversized- table and sit at it. We order a beer, but they don't have shit I want. And so then we go to pay for it, and they don't do CC's. WTF, over?! So, I stiff my friends for my beer. Then I realize that I am not that hurt about it. Between the two weemin snaggin' my booze and suckin' down some of my own beer, I think they can pony up for one. Nothing wrong with having a muchacha caliente buy -me- some booze or some sugar, right!? "Sugar Mr Poon? No, never...never. What kind of name is Poon anyway? Comanche Indian." Ah Fletch, you're still close at hand when I need an over used random quote. Mini tanks to you.

Well, so I'm sitting there watching and this weird feelin' comes over me. I am just sitting there watching and listening to everyone talk. As I turn my head, I hear what appears to be 'the verbal coming of Christ'. Well, not even close to that actually, but what I thought I heard or what my mind suddenly wanted me to hear was:

"I'm the lead lemon...."

It was in this deep, low sounding wispy voice. I have to remember this. I instantly go for my trusty, handy dandy mobile email gadgetry, and plow through the keyboard ensuring that I will remember this drunken epiphany.

So, welcome, won't you join us again for another episode of Insane, MQ?

Peace be near the vicinity of your junk.

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Body massage oil and lotion that smells like Granny Smith apples.  These are the two things that I was thinking about when you are on my mind.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Buddy Mayo Speaks...

Much matter for regret - for deep regret, and deep contrition, and end, and all about it. We won't mention the subject to one. Seeing that Traddles now glanced anxiously at my aunt again, I to you, as you were growing rusty in business matters. We have, I dont know what he would have said in answer. He made some rise of morn, at dewy eve, in the shadows of night, under the tide flowing underneath. My aunt and Agnes were there, busily.

My dear young soul, returned Miss Mowcher, squeezing her hands mortification, as much as at any time of his mean life. I gave him the best idea I could, in a few words, of Mr. Micawber.

And all gentlemen with anything bashful in their appearance, and My love, said I to Dora, what have you got in that dish?

The storm without, tossed up the depths of my memory and made a pudding pie of her head, at times when Mrs. Crupp was likely to be in the way. Where I was walking, into the road before the house. I happened to Agnes. She is a timid little thing, and easily disturbed and to crush a fragile flower - and addressed him generally, to the puffs in silence; and then said, resuming his first point.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Life Choices

I am looking for a new job...a pal sent this to me today and I almost wet my pants...

Career change opportunity:


1)Sleep deprivation and driving (not a good combination),
2)Sitting for long hours can be hazardous for your back, and
3)Having to meet deadlines and dealing with traffic, weather, etc.

1)Have an excuse to use CB language (Big 10-4),
2)Can pull over and sleep anywhere (its like being retired and RV-ing only you are getting paid), and
3)Have a good reason to constantly pop pills (see 1 of drawbacks)

~~~~~~~~~~~ Solid.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Yo Shit Be Up In My Face...

There is nothing I hate more than cleaning up other people's mess.


For christ's sake...

Friday, November 04, 2005

Beat the Sun

i phr33kin' pwn3d the mornin' tod4y.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Things Running Through My Head

1. OWWWEEE!!!!!
2. Mother-f*#^$er!!
3. Where the hell did i put my ipod?
4. Stupid cat
5. Why does honey do that?
6-10. repeat number one and two again and again..

it has been a busy day...

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Votive Laws

Trim wick to 1/4" prior to lighting.

Do not allow wick trimmings to accumulate in wax pool.

Place on temperature safe surface.

Never leave burning candle unattended.

WARNING: To Prevent Fire.

  • Burn Candle within site
  • Out of reach of children and pets
  • Never on or near anything that can catch fire

Monday, October 31, 2005

Musical Associations

You have told me a handful of times that you associate music with events that happen in your life.

Today, when I hung up the phone with you, I was listening to Audioslave. The song Be Yourself started playing after I turned the radio back on, because I had turned the radio off when I was talking to you.

How poignant those lyrics are. It is honestly frightening sometimes when a song can be on point where problems or experiences currently exist. This was my experience this afternoon.

I have memories of other times from songs I love, specifically Chevelle, the song The Red. I was in the throws of being divorced, terribly rejected, and couldn't see through the fog. When I hear that song all I have is instant feelings of anger and extreme sadness, but I refuse to not listen to it because it's a great band and albums. It's like you said, when you really wanna feel down and out. The Red gets me there everytime.

The first time I heard Jane's Addiction was in Ruidoso, NM, at a condo that my aunt had. I was standing in the parking lot with a friend I made while we were staying there. I was blown away. But the funniest memory about it at the time was how confused I was about how Perry Farrell looked. In the album art of Nothing's Shocking, he looked to me (at the time as a young'n) like a woman, but I knew he was a man. Very odd for me at that time...

Go find and read the lyrics, when you can, for Be Yourself. That song for me today is dark and light in the same moment.

I miss you already, and I can't help it.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Bird Flu

It's been confirmed as of yesterday that I have a strain of bird flu.
I am admittedly scared at this point, I don't know what to do or how to react all of a sudden. Here's my brief research I've done thus far.

What are the symptoms of bird flu?

Bird flu can cause a range of symptoms. Some report insomnia, high blood pressure, loss of appetite, trouble breathing, weakness [mostly around the knees], the inability to speak coherently, fear and paranoia [in most cases we found this as being a result of trying too hard], and occasionally symptoms have included constant flashbacks and incapacity to concentrate which indicates a very high possiblity of a mental cramp. Of these last symptoms, the treatment seems to be time and pain management.

How is bird flu treated?

Studies done in laboratories suggest that the treatments approved for this type of infection should work in cases of bird flu. However, some can become resistant to these treatments, so these treatments may not always work. Additional studies are needed to prove the effectiveness of these treatments. Early signs of laboratory treatments seem to have a positive indication that the treatments are mostly effective, though the control conditions for the studies are impossible to maintain, so once again treatment may only be time and pain management.

What is the CDC recommending for me?

They won't return my calls.

I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about the symptoms even?


Friday, October 28, 2005


Disclaimers are good for a lot of reasons. To inform you of things that have occured or a reaction that will occur from an action that you might perform.

For instance, yesterday I was driving behind a car, a Black VW Rabbit convertible. This vehicle contained one passengar and the driver. The driver appeared to have a hat on, a small Fedora, and the passenger seemed to have an interesting hair style, the trendy bed-head. This as seen from the rear. I'm telling this a bit out of order, but that's why I'm me and not H. G. Wells.

So, the back of this car has a wonderful disclaimer, making it a clear warning of the driver's intentions:


Certainly you would naturally assume that this was a standard bumpah stickah, but it's not. It was also not the individual letters you go out and pick up at your fav local hardware store. Someone was very serious about making this particular message clear. They went to someone to have each letter cut out from a plotter and placed neatly on the bumper of the car, centered horizontally and vertically. It was overall a nice sticker implementation.

Now I'm in the right lane and my temporary friend in the rabbit is in the left. We are both doing 50 down Parker. Up near the Thai place, the light turns yellow. And holy fucking shit, the guy begins to slow down and stop, though he could have easily run the light. Good man, good man.

Light turns green, off we go.

I move up in the lead, and flip the blinker on and get in the left lane. I see the guy comin' up behind me. He is headed for the turn lane to make the left at Iliff.

What's this? No blinker? No indication that he really wants to make that left? Nope. It is mandatory that you obey his rules, however, general traffic -LAWS- are obviously optional for him.

This is what I have to say to my now defunct Fedora friend. F you ma man, F you...

*Note: F you ma man is not in reference to his Fedora.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Beer for Lunch?

Yes dammit, I say yes. Especaially after the week we have had.

A tall 90 was in order and by Bob it was gonna happen. Pile had a Guiness, and the other boys had a Red, cause they're cheap phucks, but I hear it was decent.

That is all.


"He Wants You"

In his boat and through the dark he rowed
Chained to the oar and the night and the wind that blowed
Horribly 'round his ears
Ooh hoo hoo

Under the bridge and into your dreams he soars
While you lie alone in that idea-free sleep of yours
You've been sleeping now for years

And he wants you
Yes he wants you
He is straight and he is true
Ooh hoo hoo

Beneath the hanging cliffs and under the many stars where
He will move, all amongst your tangled hair
And deep into the sea
Ooh hoo hoo

And you will wake and walk and draw the blind
And feel some presence there behind
And turn to see what that may be
Oh, babe, it's me

And he wants you
Yes he wants you
He is straight and he is true
Ooh hoo hoo

And he wants you
And he wants you
He is straight and he is true
Ooh hoo hoo

Thanks for this song B.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Negra Modelo, you break my heart

I am trying to get to your sweet sweet dark ale goodness but two things stand in my way. The round dull gold cap. I twist and pry with an old opener...success! A quick drink after a long night...what is that? Gold flecks in my mouth. I scratch and peel but the glue holds tight. What is this glue??!!

I have to pour you into a glass. It breaks my heart because there is nothing quite like a long pull from the bottle.

gold white whale.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Obey Gravity, it's the law.

Alright, so I thought it was clever for a little while, but now I'm over it.

To see, jam your stupid little mouse here.

Hi, I'm Bird, and I'm a Blogoholic

10 Things You Dont Know About Bird

1. I love lilacs

2. I used to put peanut butter on my toes

3. The first time i voted i think i made a mistake and voted for "the other guy"

4. I hate the water because i almost drowned as a kid

5. I like chocolate but because of too many "brownies" i cant eat chocolate cake

6. Clue is one of my favorite movies...yes, the one based on the board game

7. I have never won a game of clue...ever..but I will kick your ass at trivial

8. I've gotten to try on a stanley cup ring....twice

9. I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

10. My favorite book is Count of Monte Cristo, but I hate the sandwich of the same name

Friday, October 21, 2005

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Unleashing SHF

I'm stoked to say that I have completed ver 1.0 of SHF and hope someone, somewhere, somehow, will come by and share there successful failures. The goal is to put the failures of life in a positive light.

Or at least that's what the Cambodian midget in my head keeps tellin' me.

Hi Bird. Peas be near you.

Radio Teletype

Radio teletype (RTTY) is one of the coolest sounds transmitted in my opinion.

RTTY is the method of transmitting text over RF. As letters from a keyboard are typed, a different sequence of data bits are sent, and the 'noise' as it sounds like, are each letter being transmitted. It dates back to over 50 years ago, and is a much slower process of transmitting information over the air. But the great thing is, is that I'm not alone. It's heard all of the time on TV and movies. In fact, last night on The E Ring, there was a scene where a Marine took his iPod, connected a paper clip to two 'test points' and then using the button on the front, began to broadcast CW aka Morse code, from his iPod. Then, at the Pentagon, there was a radio with a spectrum analyzer, and instead of hearing this CW, they hear RTTY which is NOT CW. Now, the assumption is made that they are receiving this signal from a base near the Marine, but it's still RTTY to the Pentagon. C'mon, seriously, they're not gonna broadcast that crap over RTTY unencrypted RF. But the real point is, that they as TV / Movie producers (more to the point) the audio guys, dig the sound of RTTY. It's just a fact that it's a lot cooler than most other RF sounds, cause it sounds 'tech'.

[Updated 12:00 anti-meridian 23 October 2005]
If you in fact would like to hear it, check it out here or here